Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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