I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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