I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
