dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
