I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
