So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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