we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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