There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
