I puked a lego.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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