sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
