high people should be assigned attendants
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
