When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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