didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Never underestimate the power of titties
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
