her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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