Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
