sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
