nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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