She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
