We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
