wat bout pragnant strippers??
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
