is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
