i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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