i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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