I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
