hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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