why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
