when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
