he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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