very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
