atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
