We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
