Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
