he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
