I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
