My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
