what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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