At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
