i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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