dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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