fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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