At least make sure they are 18
Why
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
