Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
