3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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