Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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