I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
