you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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