He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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