we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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