my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
