Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
