yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
