(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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