Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
