The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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